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alienate

by wild lilac

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1.
the fool 03:04
i know i'm late i just couldnt find my earring's hole it hurts a lot now and i think i might have overdosed on some cookie crumbs, i'm pretty sure they had lactose. stop looking at me like there's something ugly going on in my eyeballs or maybe the tip of my nose, im assured ill tell the story wrong cause my heart is gone. call the doctors, i haven't dreamt in a whole year. and i know that ill be wrong that's why i live in fear. and i can understand i'm being silly here. i know i talk strange i just haven't slept this week at all, been painting clouds on every surface that i can't ignore. heterochromia, i think the blue in my eyes is just fading off.
2.
breathless 04:14
what if i still wanna die, what if i haven't changed my mind. what if you, you're not thinking straight, and if you say more than i wanna hear. stars won't align, and we will always be the same. but i wouldn't mind staying by your side though i know that it will end pretty soon. i still hate myself from time to time, you know that hasn't changed. leave me breathless for a while though the truth is it won't be enough.
3.
just get it together mate, i thought we were better than this. you seem to completely change your mind whenever we meet. they say that you're into me, it looks like you really don't care about the way i feel. it just seems so unreal. i think you bring the worst in me, don't you agree, my baby i might just bring out the worst in you, don't you think it's completely true i know i'm not cool seven days of the week. but you don't need to hurt me by being so mean. i know that you have been lost, got some sort of stuff to figure out. maybe you're kinda shy, that's the reason we don't talk out loud. little internet friend, i might like you better online. or before thirty past nine, you just seem so unkind.
4.
what sense does it make? staying up so late just to talk to you, when you will go away so soon. how much will it take? from me to take away, to be the one you'd wanna stay with. now my car is broken and i can take us nowhere. i've never really liked things for how they are. just let my anger sober until this fit is over. maybe we could work out some other time. forget what we've made. because i don't wanna hate everything we've been through. separate me from my headache. doubt i'll leave you with heartbreak, i know i don't matter much.
5.
sticky honey 02:52
sticky honey wrapped around my fingers. never liked a taste so sweet but the thought of you just lingers. sticky honey all over me and i can't seem to breathe right now. i don't wanna hurt you but i wish that i could be myself. never thought i would be so stuck right now. melodramatic queen, just end my pity party now. sticky honey let me be, but please don't go away from me. won't you try to get some rest and stop making me feel so sick.
6.
leave me alone. i don't need to feel at home, i don't need to feel at all, if we're honest. please back away. won't you let me have my space? don't appreciate the weight of a promise. get out of my way! don't wanna stay! so i'm begging you to get off my swamp. i'll pack away my things in december, and it won't be long 'till i stop to remember your name -maybe even your face.

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released May 10, 2019

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wild lilac Barcelona, Spain

20. spain.
thanks for checking out my music!!!!

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